


No Magic Words, No Starlit Skies

by TheDwarvenQueen (GirlOfLetters)



Series: A Cure for All Things [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Anders Lives, Custom Hawke, Cute Fenris, Dragon Age II Spoilers, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fenris is Bad at Feelings, Gen, Hawke is not happy with Anders, Hurt/Comfort, I actually love Anders, Implied Fenris/Hawke, Isabela's ship, Male-Female Friendship, Mild Hurt/Comfort, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Really Hawke/Fenris unless you really really want it to be, POV Fenris (Dragon Age), Past Anders/Hawke, Post-Dragon Age II, Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Protective Fenris, Stargazing, Witty Hawke, first in a series, not a songfic despite presence of song lyrics, post-epilogue, rogue hawke - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 14:15:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12344322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlOfLetters/pseuds/TheDwarvenQueen
Summary: A few verses from an old song seem to bring comfort to Bethany and nothing but annoyance to her older sister. As Isabela's ship is taking them away from Kirkwall, Hawke doubts the significance of her choices. Fenris manages some friendly comfort while pondering their friendship and the unexpected path it has led him on. Something of a prelude to a series.





	No Magic Words, No Starlit Skies

**Author's Note:**

> It has been years since I've written fic for any reason but Bioware is sort of trying to pull me back into it. I wrote this little thing as stress relief in between doing very stressful things. It is the first in a much larger series which has been entirely planned out and will see a much larger cast of characters including not only Anders but some other old favourites. However, the rest of the series will come as it comes and I've decided to make each instalment a standalone fic rather than starting something with a million chapters that I will finish who knows when. As such, enjoy!

It is dark and quiet on the deck. The sea is calm and black beneath them. The only sounds are the gentle splash of the little waves tickling the body of Isabella’s ship and Bethany’s quiet humming. The young mage is leaning on the railing and Fenris can just make out her features in the light of the moon. She is staring off into the distance, although there is nothing to see but water. Fenris isn’t always good at reading emotions on people but he thinks there is something sad about her posture. It’s the way she’s wrapped her arms around herself and the way her eyes seem to be fixed on something beyond the vast expanse of nothingness that surrounds them. There is also a subtle quiver to her voice as she signs to herself, the words and melody quiet but still distinguishable, at least to his sensitive ears. 

“Not a whisper in the wind  
Told me that I should love you.  
There was not a hint,  
Not a sign we were meant to be.  
No magic words, no starlit skies  
Told me so  
But I see in your eyes  
All I need to know.”

A few steps away, Hawke has spread her cloak right down on the boards and is lying on top of it, staring up at the inky sky. The stars are stark and bright tonight, like diamonds scattered over dark velvet. As he approaches, Bethany has just pushed herself away from the railing and is bidding her sister goodnight.  
“And goodnight to you, Fenris,” she says softly as she passes him. He nods in response. She always makes a point of being nice to him. She’s still expressing her gratitude for his aid in the battle of Kirkwall, even after he has made it clear multiple times that he has only sided with her people out of loyalty for Hawke and not any true sympathy for their cause. He is as weary of mages as ever but Bethany is Hawke’s beloved little sister so he treats her with respect and as much kindness as he can muster towards someone who wields magic. Fortunately, as mages go, Bethany makes his skin crawl less than most.  
Still, he relaxes when she is gone and his tattoos no longer tingle with the presence of her magic. He makes his way to where her rogue sister is lying and lowers himself silently to sit on the deck beside her. He knows he is not unwelcome. He and Hawke have grown comfortable over the years to a level he has not previously thought himself capable of. There is something warm and dependable between them; something that Fenris has yet to achieve with anyone else. These days he gladly classifies it as friendship. He may have fancied it to be something more romantic in the past but even he isn’t sure anymore whether any feelings on his part have ever been real or simply a product of his inexperience. She is the most intimate and by far the most loyal friend he’s ever had and for a loner former slave it’s easy to let the lines blur. As for her view on the matter… Well, until now she has always been with that accursed apostate of hers - Maker burn that abomination alive for all the trouble he has caused, the should be lying dead! Instead he is demons know where and no doubt planning more havoc!  
Fenris doesn’t understand Hawke’s ever-present need to show mercy even in the face of the most despicable crimes. It is something he has condemned and despised and yet… Like many things that are alien to him, he is drawn to it; he wants to know what he is missing, what he isn’t quite getting. Somehow Hawke has become his tutor in more than reading and so he follows her, albeit sometimes reluctantly, harbouring the fragile conviction that she knows things he doesn’t and that these things may be worth learning after all. He is utterly surprised at himself for not siding with the templars back in Kirkwall, especially once Hawke has allowed the mage responsible for the entire situation go free and unpunished. He has nearly turned on her then but something inside him has balked at the idea of abandoning her, let alone fighting her. And here he is now. He hasn’t spared her the I-told-you-sos but at the same time he wants to alleviate the pain she must be feeling. This is one of the things she has taught him - that one can be critical without being cruel.  
She glances up at him from where she is lying and offers him a brief smile in the faint light of the moon. It has warmth but no mirth in it.  
“I hope it’s not thoughts of him keeping you up again,” Fenris says.  
“Who, Anders? You can say his name, you know.” She shrugs. “Not specifically. I’m not saying I don’t think of him pretty much the entire time but I came out here to try and fail to cheer Bethany up. Heard her humming Dad’s song. Never a good sign - means she’s getting nostalgic.”  
“That was your father’s song?”  
“Well, it’s one he sang us a lot, at any rate.” Hawke sighs and tucks her arms under her head. “I don’t know where it originally came from but he said it was his and mother’s song. I think the lyrics appealed to him. You know, the whole defying destiny, choosing who to love thing. He was a big believer in choice, Dad was. He always taught us who we were and what we did mattered. Bethany never quite bought it - I think she’s more inclined to believe that sometimes things just happen and there is nothing we can do. To be honest, I’m not sure which is worse. Anyway, the song itself seems to bring her comfort. Maybe just because it reminds her of happier times.”  
“Does it bring you comfort?”  
She purses her lips thoughtfully. “Not right now. Right now it drives me up the wall. ‘I see in your eyes all I need to know’? My ass. I didn’t see a damned thing in his eyes, apparently. Or rather I saw things that clearly weren’t real. On top of that I find the memory of Dad’s blithe optimism and faith in the value of our choices a little upsetting after everything that happened. Because either my choices didn’t matter or I fucked up big time.”  
Fenris frowns. “You are not the one who chose to destroy the Chantry. Perhaps the blame would be better placed elsewhere, with the mage who lied and killed innocent people?”  
“That’s just it - he lied and I bought it. I never imagined he would use me, let alone for something like this. And I wonder if the man I thought was my lover ever even existed. I tried to tell myself the bad stuff was all Justice, even when Anders himself insisted they were the same person. It was my naivety that led us here.” She gives Fenris a sour look. “And I hate admitting this to you, by the way, it’s awfully humiliating. You owe me a humiliating confession somewhere in the future.”  
Fenris smirks before becoming serious again and shifting uncertainly. He is not good at offering comfort but he gives it a try. “You must know that it gives me no pleasure to see your trust betrayed, even if it means I was right. You should have killed him but” he raises a hand in a placating gesture, intercepting her objection “let’s not start that argument again. I can tell you one thing. Perhaps your choices would have never made a difference where the mage was concerned but they made a difference for me. For better or worse, I am here now. In a different world… Who knows, most likely we would have ended up on opposite sides and maybe one of us would have killed the other. Instead…” He pauses and smiles a little. “You know, Hawke, I have come to learn over the years that to know you often automatically means to go along with a whole lot of insanity but for some bizarre reason I can’t bring myself to regret knowing you.”  
She breaks into a grin. “Why, you little charmer.” She pushes herself up to give him a friendly one-armed hug. He smiles as her head comes to rest briefly on his shoulder. The gesture is not romantic in nature but perhaps that is what makes it even more valuable. It is not the blind, volatile passion he associates with romance from his limited experience. It is trust and he knows instinctively that he should treasure it.  
“Fen?” She gives him a little squeeze.  
“Mm?”  
“Thanks for coming with us. It wouldn’t have been nearly as fun without Isabela’s entire crew turning to stare at your arse every time you walk by.”  
A little chuckle escapes him, halfway between pleased and embarrassed. Oddly, compliments on his appearance tend to get to him even when many other things don’t. Hawke often tells him he’s an utter peacock and perhaps she’s right.  
“Glad to be a source of amusement. I hope you appreciate there aren’t many people I would say that to.”  
They fall into a companionable silence, watching the sky, and Fenris wonders idly about the world that is, the many worlds that might have been and the vague shadows that lie in the future, waiting to be solidified by their choices. It has to matter what they choose, he thinks. Otherwise all freedom is an illusion and that he can't accept.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this finger sandwich of a fic, drop me a line, I adore comments as much as the next author. They may also encourage me to write more. See ya!


End file.
